The Process

I thought that I would take a moment to reflect on the adoption process. Many people have asked how it all works and why it's taken so long. For others who have adopted, 15 months may seem very short and for others, very long. Each couple has their own story to tell.

We began this process when we found out it wasn't possible for us to have our own children. We were immediately drawn to the idea of adopting. There was a meeting in NJ that we attended the very next week and it just felt right to be there. The agency talked about older children needing to be adopted and we hadn't thought of that before. Both of us left feeling good and that we had a direction to move in. Our next meeting was at a couple's house that adopted a 6 year old girl from Russia. As we drove away, we knew that this was meant for our lives. I remember feeling pure joy in knowing that we would have our family.

We began this process having no idea about the amount of paperwork required to have a child. The file sitting beside my desk is bulging and it can't hold much more without bursting. The first steps were filling out applications, having friends and family write references about us, getting FBI clearances, medical evaluations, and a thorough home study. We also made copies of passports, driver's liscenses', marriage certificates, employment letters, and birth certificates. Each set had to be notarized and then sent off to be apostilled by the state in which they were produced. Are you tired yet? We certainly were! They also looked at every aspect of our finances and we left nothing to hide. Our agency now knows more about us than our own families! We were now ready to accept a child.

In the summer of 2007, the first child given to us, was also quickly taken away. When we were in Thailand, we received the news that she had been fostered by a Russian couple. Scott and I were deeply saddened by this news. It felt like we lost a child. We both felt it was a blessing to be on vacation because our minds were kept busy.

When we returned home, we had a big decision to make. Did we want to continue with adoption and what direction to go in? We decided to go with "blind adoption" and leave the rest up to faith.

This is a great place to pause because this is where our lives took a big pause. We were moving to a new state, new jobs, and a new life!