The Process Continues

When we finally settled into our new home in Virginia, we got right to work with our "new" paperwork. We now had to redo all of our original paperwork because we were now searching for a child in a different region of Russia. Each region requires slightly different paperwork and they can basically ask for anything.

We were given a different social worker (our previous one didn't return from maternity leave) and we dove head first into submitting new fingerprints and FBI background checks for the state of Virginia. We also had a social worker come and inspect our house. This is a large part of the home study process. They need to see your entire house and know that it will be safe and comforting for your child. We also had to make a floor plan of the house that included smoke detectors and fire extinguishers. We are set in case of an emergency! Also with the inspection comes an interview. She was making sure that we would be "fit" parents and that we understood what we were getting ourselves into. Adoption is a big risk because you never really know the truth about the child's background.

After all of the paperwork was completed, we waited...
Waiting is our middle name. You rush to turn papers in and you hope to hear something. Sometimes it's weeks before you hear any news. There's a fine line with pestering your social workers because they are the ones helping you. We've learned the ultimate lessons in patience. Scott and I balance each other out in such a great way. Some days, I'm the one going crazy and he calms me down and other days it's the complete opposite. Scott is my rock and he definitely has more patience than I do.

We got the word several months later that our paperwork had been sent to Russia and we were ecstatic! We thought that the process would run smoothly now and we would be off on our first trip to Russia soon. December seemed like a great month because we were spending time with family, Sarah was coming for Christmas and we would be traveling soon.

I'm sure you're guessing that a road block was on the horizon. When we phoned our social worker, she told us that Krasnodar was reorganizing their Department of Education. It could be a few months before we travel. Ugh!! This process is truly a roller coaster ride and we were coming to an abrupt halt. We made ourselves busy and hunkered down for a long, cold winter. In the meantime, most of our paperwork was expiring and we began the journey to renew it. This meant more fingerprints, FBI, blood drawn, chest x-rays, financial statements, and of course the psychologist! Also, when we receive all of this paperwork it goes through it's own process. Each paper has to be notarized, sent to be apostilled, sent back to us, and then off to FedEx!

The winter did thaw out and we received the call we'd been waiting for in MAY!!
More to come...

The Process

I thought that I would take a moment to reflect on the adoption process. Many people have asked how it all works and why it's taken so long. For others who have adopted, 15 months may seem very short and for others, very long. Each couple has their own story to tell.

We began this process when we found out it wasn't possible for us to have our own children. We were immediately drawn to the idea of adopting. There was a meeting in NJ that we attended the very next week and it just felt right to be there. The agency talked about older children needing to be adopted and we hadn't thought of that before. Both of us left feeling good and that we had a direction to move in. Our next meeting was at a couple's house that adopted a 6 year old girl from Russia. As we drove away, we knew that this was meant for our lives. I remember feeling pure joy in knowing that we would have our family.

We began this process having no idea about the amount of paperwork required to have a child. The file sitting beside my desk is bulging and it can't hold much more without bursting. The first steps were filling out applications, having friends and family write references about us, getting FBI clearances, medical evaluations, and a thorough home study. We also made copies of passports, driver's liscenses', marriage certificates, employment letters, and birth certificates. Each set had to be notarized and then sent off to be apostilled by the state in which they were produced. Are you tired yet? We certainly were! They also looked at every aspect of our finances and we left nothing to hide. Our agency now knows more about us than our own families! We were now ready to accept a child.

In the summer of 2007, the first child given to us, was also quickly taken away. When we were in Thailand, we received the news that she had been fostered by a Russian couple. Scott and I were deeply saddened by this news. It felt like we lost a child. We both felt it was a blessing to be on vacation because our minds were kept busy.

When we returned home, we had a big decision to make. Did we want to continue with adoption and what direction to go in? We decided to go with "blind adoption" and leave the rest up to faith.

This is a great place to pause because this is where our lives took a big pause. We were moving to a new state, new jobs, and a new life!